My name is Chaplain Tyler A. Dean. I was an Air Force Civil Engineer and was retired after a wall collapsed on me while on deployment with the 379th ECES at Al Udeid AB in Qatar.

Returning home I found myself going through months of physical therapy with no support, relationship problems, and housing issues. Knowing that a medical board was in my near future made me feel worthless, like I couldn’t do the job that I was meant to do, that I trained to do. I felt like I was failing at everything, so I turned to drinking and my prescription medication. I sat in my room alone with a shotgun thinking, “This is going to be it; I’ll take a load off my leadership and do them a favor.” But each time I got to that point, something would draw me away from that shotgun and I just couldn’t do it.

I was ashamed that an airman in the rear could get hurt so bad to the point that they lose their career. On top of all of that, I was diagnosed with a severe stomach illness. While I was in the hospital, finance called me telling me my pay had been messed up, and they racked up $14,000 in debt I had to pay back. All of this hit at once and it was a huge stress that sent me in a downward spiral. I didn’t expect to make it past 25 years old, but I always had that feeling that would stop me from pulling the trigger. That feeling was that someone in life needs me or will need me. Just enough that I can make a difference in their life, and that’s the feeling I want all of my readers to hang onto. If you think haven’t made a difference in anyone’s life yet, you’ve made a difference in mine, because my mission to help others who are struggling, is what saved me.

It’s time to start caring for yourself and your people, and I’ll start that trend right now. My phone number is 740-285-1844. If you’re sitting there right now and feel like you just need to get something off your chest, or talk to another vet who has struggled, call or text me. I don’t care if it’s 3am, call me and we can talk. I say this because I’ve had to call the crisis line a lot, and I’m not ashamed of that. I’ve had a lot of people hate me for telling the truth of how I feel, but you know what, we are who we are, and if you you’re living your life with good intentions, you should lay your head down at night and be at peace.

Reaching out and talking about your struggles is a massive first step. It’s going to be hard, it’s not fun, it’s not easy, but it’s not permanent, and you will always remember what has scared you, and how you became a better person for overcoming it. 5 years from that call, you’ll be 25 with a wife, or 65 with grandchildren.

Whatever or wherever you are, I’ll always be glad you called, rather than not know you at all. So please, make that call, give me something I’ve been praying for. I’m an advocate for you, the people who served in my family, my military family. I’m going to end this post with a passage from Matthew 11:28 “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” Please leave any prayer requests in the comments.

Chaplain Tyler A. Dean