It is the eyes. War seeps in through the eyes and permeates the soul. According to the original post, this soldier is talking about being under fire in Bakhmut, and that he will be back in action. I do not understand his words, but I know a little of what is in his heart, for I have seen those eyes in friends, in comrades, in men who served with me, and, from time to time in the mirror. The eyes do not lie.

Journalist Eric Sevareid served as a radio correspondent during World War II, and he observed that “war happens inside a man. It happens to one man alone. It can never be communicated.” At this moment war burns in half a million hearts across southern and eastern Ukraine. The assault upon the human spirit which occurs in war is nothing new. Homer wrote of the effects of war and of the journey home. For those Romans who survived service in legions long enough to retire, Rome rewarded them with land on the periphery of the empire, far from Rome itself. In the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries the condition which afflicted old campaigners was known as nostalgia, and for though who fought the American Civil War it was know as the soldier’s heart. Regardless of the name, it is a burden which each warrior must carry until his dying day.

While the war inside may be an individual experience, the effects will be born by the societies in which these soldiers live long after the guns fall silent. These assaults of the spirit of so many individuals manifest as mental health issues, struggles with substance abuse, familial disruption, and social dysfunction, which in turn affect the community as a whole, and one can hope that the Ukrainian people will be able to face this issue together in the years to come. For the time being, the focus is survival, and the hopes of the many rest on the backs of the few. And though they fight as units, the degradation of the soul occurs on an individual level, struggling with memories that disrupt a soldier’s waking thoughts and haunt the twilight of his or her dreams. And, as Joseph Conrad observed, we live as we dream, alone.

About the Author

Cam

Cam served as an infantry officer in the Marine Corps, deploying to the Horn of Africa and participating in combat operations in Iraq. He currently works in the maritime industry and in the defense sector as an instructor of combined arms planning and operations. An avid sailor, Cam founded and directs Triumph Sailing, a nonprofit that supports veterans and first responders through adventure and fellowship on the water. Triumph Sailing is preparing for its big yearly event, an offshore race in the Gulf of Mexico with an all veteran crew. You can support the mission at Tri-Sail.Org.